Early this morning I got up and wandered into my office to sit and prepare for The Purge. My focus since yesterday when I set my intention, was to look within at everything I carry around that no longer serves me. Purging or letting go of the emotions, and situations that hurt me or made me doubt myself or the path I’ve chosen is a hard one. I have performed this ritual before but never fully to the extent I was about to and it stirred a great amount of emotion in me. I felt a sense of grief to letting go of those memories and things that I had harbored all these years.
Why is letting go so hard, when it is essentially the pain and hurt and hate that consumed us for so long? Why is it so important to have these feelings inside us, when we know ultimately that letting go of them will release us from the darkness they represent? My understanding of my own mind and the reasons why I hold on to these thoughts and feelings is generally to serve as a reminder to myself of the suffering and hurt I no longer want to feel. It is like talisman I carry to ward off more of the same. But in the universe it acts as a beacon…bringing us more of what we focus on.
So today I wrote for 20 mins, about everything I no longer want to feel, think, and express in my life. I wrote of the hurt I felt and the reactions I had. I wrote of the memories I need to let go of to be happy again. I wrote of the times I was disappointed in myself and others. Once I had a very healthy list of emotions and feelings I read them again to myself and I grieved…and then I lit them on fire.
Today I let go of my old friend hate, anger, hurt and depression. Today I ask for guidance and support from my spirit team that I may replace all I have let go with new friendship with love, happiness and patience. Letting go is hard. But living inside that which hurt you most is harder. Chin up. Love is all around us.