It's Personal

Just my opinion

“It’s just my opinion”…these words are handed out to everyone, from everyone, but what do they really mean? When your friend comes to you with a problem and is seeking advice or council as to what road to take, we answer in our best attempt at a solution and then follow it with those little words. Why? Is it because we are afraid of forcing our judgement on others or are we afraid they may not agree and therefore we doubt our morals, our principles, incase it is not found to be the ‘right’ ones? What if we are right? What if we are wrong? Most of all…what if we are human! When we look at our life and the choices we make we never question our reasoning at that moment. We chose what we thought was the best road based on the information we had at the time. We may look back and wonder if we had taken a different route, where would we be now but we are here all the same. So why do we worry so much about whether our choices will be wrong for the people we love most? If our advice is wrong could it have an adverse effect on their life and the bigger picture? Of course! But…and I say this with all conviction and love possible….we gave them the option to look at it from our point of view and sometimes that can alter everything, but it ultimately is still their choice to make. When you speak up and voice your concerns or your beliefs to others isn’t it perceived to be your opinion already? So why do we need to state it as a disclaimer… Have we entered a society that will punish us or hold us accountable for merely offering options to their existing thoughts? How can we expect people to take serious the points we make when we can’t even offer it with confidence enough to say it like it is? Think back to the last time you were faced with this situation and try to recall how you worded your advice. Now remember the moment you recanted your of confidence and stated “that’s what I’d do” “just my opinion” “but it’s up to you”, whatever it was, we ALL do it! Maybe you hesitate to interject your opinion at all!

Today I had such a conversation with my friend, my best friend no less, and while I listened to the pain and torture of her moment I found myself holding back. I am older, and have more life experiences, but yet I bite my tongue in hopes that I can simply ‘be there’ rather than get involved directly….when did I become that friend? And isn’t it our jobs as friends to be there, to help, to provide shelter from the storm, to dust off the knees of our fallen and OFFER SOLUTIONS!?!?! I still find myself torn about how I could be helpful without being intrusive and I confess this is not an easy thing for me. I am outspoken, dominant and aggressive in all my relationships and to be the passive bystander is somewhat out of character for me. We feel our way through life, the tensions and sadness, as well as the laughter and pride. As an empath I feel a little more than some but I have a very keen sense of deja vu on the reaction side of things. I can sense the reactions and the turmoil that follows. It causes me to hold back and not speak up in times when I am likely needed most. And so I am torn between saying what needs to be said, even when it isn’t wanted or saying nothing and living with the pain of knowing I didn’t help.

As a medium I am taught that if you hear, see, smell, taste, or think it….own it. Don’t letfriend your ego influence what you tell your clients. Even if it seems silly or makes no sense to you, it might just be the exact thing they will understand. You are given the messages for other, not for yourself and so you simply pass them on as best you can interpret. If you decided ‘nah that’s silly’ and don’t say it only to have your client say “I wish they had mentioned the bobby-pin” you don’t get to say “OH they did!”….no you had the opportunity to say it when spirit gave you that message and you didn’t think it was important so you don’t get to claim it now. Is this not the same as advice you give to your friends and loved ones?? How many times have you heard or said “I could’ve told you that would happen”….ya but you didn’t so shut your mouth! So while we sit idly by and watch our friends and family make decisions, knowing they needed our help, how can we sleep at night knowing we missed that chance to somehow make a difference….I know I can’t.

Moral of the story…There will always be other ways to do something and all you can do is offer an option, not because it’s right, just because it is how you see it based on the things you’ve learned in this life. Will they follow your advice? It is their life and their decisions to make. But they will never be able to make those choices without your support…so don’t leave them alone. Even if they don’t agree at least they will sleep tonight knowing you cared enough to try….(in my opinion haha)

Heather xo

1 thought on “Just my opinion”

  1. Hello ,

    great post I must say.I asked my friend for an opinion and he said :why are you asking me when you will not listen to me .And I said “I’m not asking you to make a decision for me, I am asking you just to hear your opinion” . That is the point, choice is always ours, and thinking helps us create a choice 🙂

    Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

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